I’m admitting it now. Not that I’ve ever hid it, really.
I am now, and always will be, a Star Wars fan.
I was 9 when the first one came out. We went to a drive in, and I didn’t pull my eyes from the screen until my dad drove us off the lot. What I’d seen was, to me, pure magic. For two hours, I was able to forget everything I was going through and go someplace where there was hope.
I even like the prequels! The new movies! I cried for days after ‘The Last Jedi’ whenever I thought of the ending. Simply because Luke has always been my favorite character.
I’ve never made it to Star Wars Celebration. Life goals, I know. LOL. Our kids are getting older, so maybe the next one. It’s starting to be discussed with the hubby.
The trailer is out there. I’m counting months until release. I’m even planning my outfit. The Leia subtle cosplay tunic I got at Disneyland is high on the list. Though I’m loving the look Rey has in the trailer. That depends on how much time I think I have to create something like it.
Now that we’ve established my fandom, you’re probably wondering why I’m sharing this. It’s because we all have fandoms. The movie franchise, tv show, or book series we go to for comfort, hope, inspiration. The characters that remind us that we’re capable of so much more than what we think.
The ones that give us hope.
The flip side of that is those who can’t be happy unless they take joy from another. The toxic trolls who practice the Dark Side and leave hateful comments for anyone they deem unworthy. They hide behind keyboards and cut into people faster than a lightsaber with their words.
They will make you want to give up, lose your hope, and walk away from your dreams.
I’ve had a few. Not many, probably because I’m not well known as an author yet. But they’re out there. Waiting to pounce. Waiting to try and tell me, either in reviews, comments here, or on Twitter that my life is meaningless because I don’t meet their standard.
I have a secret weapon, though. I grew up surrounded by people like them. Only they didn’t hide behind keyboards and computer screens. I was told these things to my face. And for a time, I did lose hope.
Not any more.
Writing has done more for me than most people think. For me, it’s shown me that I’m a stronger person than I gave myself credit for. That I can, will, and have done things those trolls only dream about. Things that drove them to push me down because they were afraid.
It’s never been about what I could do, but what they were afraid to do.
It’s not about me. It’s about them.
And I still have hope.