A gift of sorts

Hey!

So, it’s day something of being in a quarantine zone. Honestly, I’ve lost track of how long this has been a problem around here. At least a month, I’m certain. It feels sooo much longer.

The retail chain I work for gave the green light for our store to close today through April 1st. I expected it, honestly. What I didn’t expect is that all associates are being paid for the time we would’ve been scheduled. I got two weeks of paid vacation dropped in my lap (I did my early shift and went home before the store even opened, as we were on modified hours of operation) today.

Two weeks where I can binge watch shows. Sleep in, as Muse lets me. Breathe. Take walks. Drive to the coast and back.

Write.

Plot out the next 2 D&D sessions.

I don’t think I ever panicked. I’ve not overbought or started to hoard hand sanitizer or anything like that. But I have been stressed out/frustrated.

I’m an extrovert who plays at being an introvert every now and then. Yes, I can spend HOURS at my keyboard writing. But I always knew I could jump into my car and go wander a mall if I wanted to. Or go to a movie. Be around PEOPLE, even if they weren’t ones I knew.

One of the hardest things I’ve been dealing with is that our D&D game is online right now. I genuinely miss these friends being in our house every week. I miss the energy they bring; the warm camaraderie, the sarcastic humor, the looks of ‘did you really just do that to YOUR OWN CHARACTER?’

Social distancing is what I have to do. Not for me, but because I don’t know if I’m carrying it to someone who wouldn’t recover. That whole Wiccan Rede ‘do no harm’ thing is in full force. I believe that, if you’re going to practice a faith, you should follow it no matter how hard it can be some days. It’s taking a mental toll on me currently, but I will muck my way through this.

Thia…Arwenna…Amber…they may have a harder time than originally planned.

I’ve resolved the conflict within myself. I will get through this, because the other option is not within me. I will find the words to finish the books. I will find the will to keep my ass in this chair, typing instead of playing solitaire.

And, eventually, life will return to what it was before. Or I’ll get used to this enough not to want to scream obscenities at the sky.

BB

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