Healing physically

And stitches are out!

Good news on the hands front! My stitches came out today. I’m still under some restrictions for 2 more weeks, as internal healing isn’t complete yet. But I’m improving almost daily now.

The tendon on the left was more ‘stuck’ (my doctor’s wording), which is why it took a few extra snips during the procedure. We did a test to see if I could ease my middle finger to touch the palm with pressure from my right hand. I could, and it stayed closed when I released it, so that’s an excellent sign. It’s going to be fine, it just needs more time.

I’m back writing, despite a bout of imposter syndrome. Notes are trickling in from my betas. Sometime this weekend, I’ll start reading ‘Shield & Scepter’ out loud to myself. This is the last step before I send it over to Denise Barone, my agent.

She submitted ‘Scales & Stinger’ to another publisher this morning – keep your fingers crossed! I know the series is good and that you’ll love to read the books. We just need to hold onto the belief that a publisher will think the same way.

No matter how solitary the process to write a book is, authors aren’t always happy in that bubble. We crave feedback. It’s how we know if what we wrote works, is enjoyable, or totally sucks. When we don’t get that – from betas, publishers, or reviews/readers – our minds begin to spiral into dark places. Ones that many of us won’t touch with our writing. They’re that dark.

It’s a moment where we simply feel like we should curl up into a ball and never bother another soul again because we suck and nobody likes us.

You gotta be tough to be a writer. We hear ‘no’ far more than anything else. And sometimes we do really stupid things, sign bad contracts, because someone said yes and we were desperate to hear that word. I can take a bad review. I can take constructive criticism and learn from it. I can fix a plot hole my beta readers pick up on.

But it’s a struggle some days to open that file and work on book 3 when you keep hearing no on book 1. It really is. And, if you’re like me and dozens of others I know, it spirals. Soon you’re wondering if you’re doing enough for your family, your friends. Is your D&D game going well or do you suck there, too? Throw in not being able to do simple chores like the laundry or dishes without asking for help because you’re recovering from surgery and…yeah.

The rabbit hole can go deep indeed.

I’m fortunate that I have family, and friends I consider such, that know what to say to help me climb out of that pit. And that’s one of the themes behind the Heroes of Avoch series. The family we choose for ourselves, those friends that help us through the darkness, are what matter.

Though a really good Scotch whisky doesn’t hurt some nights….

BB/Chan Eil Eagal Orm

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